Today is Friday, March 22nd, 2019. Exactly 1 year ago, on Thursday, March 22nd, 2018, our Hell began . . .
2018 was the worst year of my entire 39 years. Throughout my life there has been the normal up and down days along with the good and bad days. But none could compare to Amber’s death. Not in a million years did I ever think to myself that Matt and I would have a child that, all of a sudden, is sick. But not just sick . . . cancer sick, and not just cancer sick, but the type of cancer that would most likely kill her . . . and on December 17th, it did. However, no matter how sucky and crappy it was for Amber and our family to go through this, I can say without hesitation that Amber died with Grace. She should have died on March 22nd, 2018, but she didn’t. With the Grace of God and endless prayers, Amber was granted a total of 9 extra months with us. And while she went through the works; several brain surgeries, several regular surgeries including a vascular port and g-tube, her re-learning how to use her left side, the countless MRIs, radiations, numerous trips to NYC, all this while attending school, PT, and OT — Amber did it all with Grace. Those hard yet special 9 months were fulfilling to our family, and God knew we needed that. Some may question why Amber still died even though we prayed and prayed – I know we have. God is Mysterious and God is All-Knowing. God has an exact plan for each and every one of us, and our questions will be answered on our own judgement day. God’s exact plan was always for Amber to be with him sooner than later, but to do so without pain and suffering. God also allowed her to have those extra 9 precious months with us, and THAT is how our prayers were answered.
Today also marks 3 months since Amber was laid to rest. Amber endured a lot over the course of those 9 months but everything she went through during her entire short 7 years ensured her a special spot in Heaven. And although not here physically with us, she will still be a great part of our lives. She gets to observe it from the best seat in the house — Heaven — watching how her family and friends’ lives progress.
The biggest goal in my life was to meet my soulmate and have children with him. I knew I was put on Earth to be a mom. Some people thought we were crazy for having so many children; their views like — the world is already overcrowded OR the world is a crummy place to raise even 1 child. My response to that was that I knew the type of children Matt and I would create; children that would change the world for the positive. I didn’t realize that that would mean one of our children (who was an actual child) would achieve that goal so early in her life, by losing her life. Amber was created by taking the best parts of Matt and mixing them with the best parts of me. And when Amber died, those parts of Matt and me died too — but not without some positive impact all around. Amber Grace has changed the world by touching so many lives. She has brought so many together, and has changed the world for the positive.
There was a school assignment in the beginning of the school year about who your Superhero is. Amber wrote that her Superhero is herself with her super powers being Faith and Love. Amber, without a doubt, was certainly a Superhero and she clearly has fulfilled her destiny on Earth by spreading Faith and Love, and continues to do from her special seat in Heaven.